One Day, People Will Appreciate Glenn Beck as a Marketing Genius

Reggie Jackson once said that the difference between himself and Lee May is that Jackson, but not May, puts asses in the seats. In that respect, Glenn Beck is the Reggie Jackson of cable-news personalities.

Sometimes I think that the biggest difference between Stephen Colbert and Glenn Beck is that Colbert's viewers are in on the joke.

Poem on Park51

First they came for Burlington Coat Factory, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't shopping for a coat.

Then they came for Walmart, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a regular shopper there.

Then they came for Target, and I didn't speak up because I belonged to Costco.

Then they came for my Costco membership, and by that time no one was left to speak up.

Deep Thoughts on Park51

When I drove by my local Burlington Coat Factory tonight, I thought: Please, Newt, don't let anyone turn this into a Muslim Community Center. If my local Burlington Coat Factory were turned into a Muslim Community Center, mall shoppers might get deeply offended. If my local Burlington Coat Factory were turned into a Muslim Community Center, where could people buy coats on sale?

Didn't George W. Bush encourage Americans to shop in order to show the terrorists that Americans will not be cowed into avoiding malls? Thus, if my local Burlington Coat Factory closes, the terrorists will have won. And if the closed Burlington Coat Factory is replaced with a Muslim Community Center, it would become a victory mosque.

If Newt Gingrich, Sarah Palin, and Rick Lazio don't stand up to the corporate overlords who want to close a local Burlington Coat Factory, who will?